Don't you just love when you don't take your own advice and are too ashamed to admit it after urging others to do something? Well, in a cyber world where we shame everyone from moms to poor dogs, I'm just going to be honest so shame me all you want! Do I need to wear a sign or hang one around my neck? If so, I'm ok with it!
Throughout the years while writing my last blog, I urged people to re-fill, give of their overflow not their essence, to understand the difference between selfishness and self-caring and to never get to empty and run out of gas ... always re-fuel!
I had spent years wearing the super-mom cape, which I admittedly put on myself, as I'd anxiously listened, watched and read the hype that we could do it all ... yes, I drank the juice box! I'm certain some blurry-eyed version of me was hypnotized, in the wee hours of the morning, as I rocked a hungry baby, sick child or one traumatized from a bad dream. I had learned that my sleep deprivation could be helped if I'd turn the TV on to help keep me awake. Madam Cleo types were the rage back then and it’s quite feasible I may have called the number while dozing and asked if anyone could predict if I'd sleep in the next 18 years.
Maybe I should've been more specific! It wasn't IF I would sleep but WHERE I would sleep. Each night, we would all start off in the right beds but rarely, if ever, end up there. After one sniffling cutie in footie PJs comes in needing mommy and daddy, who can refuse? They would climb between us ... so adorable as they needed our cuddles for about um, twenty seconds … until they fell into a deep sleep that Rumpelstiltskin would envy! Speaking of envy, any contortionist would also desire the acrobatics that would ensue while said child was asleep.
How did I get a foot in my eye while my husband would get a karate chop in the neck? Now I ask myself why we then, ever so gently, moved ninja-kid while whispering as to not disturb this sleeping angel ... a space shuttle launch from our bedroom would not phase them. After we had our child back on the pillow, we would drift off and BAM ... here we'd go again and then child number two would come in whimpering. Okay then-rock, paper, scissors ... who gets to stay? There was really no prize nor winner because mommy always stayed, and daddy's choices were a princess bed or the one he always chose (so his manhood wasn't threatened) … our son’s toddler-sized race car bed. Nothing beat seeing all 6 ft 2 inches of a desperate dad, trying to get any sleep, while half of his legs and arms were hanging out of a red race car. Perhaps, he had his manhood intact but certainly, no dignity was in sight. What was in sight, however was a reality no show could create, script or produce.
When you gaze upon then study the angelic face of your little baby in utter amazement, you never dream that those precious little lips will one day form words and grow into a teenager that can scream in a tone that will break glass. They will say things like "I cannot believe you, you just don't understand anything, you are TOTALLY ruining my life" then punctuate the drama and slam a door with such force that you wonder if the space shuttle just took off in your house. Yes, we still had space shuttles then and there were days I had wished my teenagers were on one!
Utter amazement ... it changed from that dreamy smile to wide-eyed shock and awe!
You may be reading and not relating if you're not a parent to children, but let me promise you one thing ... you will parent someone, some group, or something one day. It may not come wrapped in a pink or blue blanket but it will be Heaven-sent because GOD OUR FATHER wants all of us to have a perspective that nothing but parenting can give you.
What is it? Well, I promise you need to know and I won't keep it a secret!
Until we meet again, I'll keep my head in the clouds and dream something up!